2022/23 – Hermes 0 v 0 East End

Lochside Park, NRJFA Premier League, 28/3/22

Me still 267, Wee Man still 139

Hermes Junior Football Club

Founded – 1968

Nickname – N/A

Honours – NRJFA Superleague – 2011/12 and 2014/15. North East Division One- 1994/95. Grill League Cup – 2003/04. North Regional Cup – 1997/98 and 2003/04. McLeman Cup – 2008/09. Morrison Trophy – 1993/94 and 1996/97

Random Fact – The club was originally founded as a Robert Gordons team. The original set up was by a group of Robert Gordons College pupils .

A test of Wee Man’s mettle tonight, weather wise and goings on on the park wise. The was pretty fucking grim on both counts, but to be fair he passed with flying colours. So he should have. This was his choice of game. No complaints and laughed off the score line as “a boring one”. Once upon a time the rain would have irked him and the lack of action wouldn’t have floated his boat but he now knows in fitba the rough comes with the smooth and this falls firmly in the former category.

The highlight was our usual tea at the Mill of Mundurno when we head to Hall Russell or Hermes. A much underrated eatery in my eyes. Good value and decent food, a big old bloody selection of it too.

Then to the game, the dirty grey skies, the incessant down pour, the lack of crowd (Scotland and the rain playing their parts surely) and what really was a turgid 90 minutes that unfolded in front of us. Hermes were the better team despite being caught cold in the first few minutes where East End were in their faces with Stewart narrowly putting a powerful effort millimeters over the bar. But once on it the hosts were quick and looked dangerous going forward but they did not create much in terms of clear cut chances (the cleanliness of East End keepers Zakk Ellis’s shirt come half time was testament to that). They had a couple of efforts from range that were close and a chipped shot from a tight angle from Youngson which was the biggest chance of the half but nothing to trouble the big keeper. A poor half of fitba with the steak pies being a delightful highlight. Another grievance to be added to this game is the bloody black numbers on the Hermes shirts. Almost invisible on the blue of the top under floodlights. (Pretty sure i moaned about this earlier in the season)

HT 0 v 0

The half time kick about came as always and it was a messy affair, to the extent that our clothes and shoes were off at the back door and straight into the washing machine when we got in the house. Unfortunately, the game once restarted sucked all the fun out the night again. With the downpour continuing through the break and nobody on the pitch the speed of the ball seemed to increase ten fold once the match got going and neither team seemed to like it. Hermes continued their game plan of central through balls from midfield into attack but East End were wise to it and defended well to be fair to them. Talking points from the half. A Hermes player being wiped out and hurt in the box only for the linesman to put up an incredibly late flag for offside. My first thought was “stonewall penalty” before seeing the flag raised changing my opinion to a shout of “that’s your fault he got snapped there min”. If he was not so indecisive and slow the whistle would have gone seconds before the tackle from behind. I wasn’t the only one who thought this as the Hermes bench went berserk shouting similar to me but not in such a reserved fashion. The other big talking point was a blatant East End handball in the box, a penalty no doubt about it but the same linesman who had a better view than the ref said play on. Incredible. It happened a couple of yards in front of us and it was beyond doubt a spot kick to Hermes but incredibly the game went on. Also to be noted in the half was Wee Man’s interest came and went and he played with his ball a bit in the mini goal behind us. He said to me at one point “do you think I can score from here”. From where he was it would defy the laws of physics to bend the ball in. This meaning I replied “I will eat my hat if you do that”. Low and behold the little bugger did it. An incredible hit that seemed to bend in two directions. A few minutes later he asked if I thought he would score by hitting two walls then using the slight incline of the grass roll it into the goal. I thought he couldn’t be that jammy as to get two trick shots right in a row first time. “No way min, do that and I’ll give you a tenner”. I am now a ten big ones lighter. Mystifying and amusing at the same time. Back on the pitch. Hermes had a big chance cleared off the line late on by Masson after defender Mitchell rose well to head goalward. Hermes ended the game by blowing a chance late late when the whole team piled into the box for a corner, the ball made it to the back post but the effort(unsure who due to the host of bodies) went past the post bringing the referees whistle to end this dour affair and putting a dent in Hermes title aspirations. Dire game but a good laugh on the whole with Wee Man who was on top form all night. A boy who has well and truly got the Juniors bug. No complaints from me. However, I am now looking at which of my many hats would be best to eat.

Entrance – £6 Me, £0 Wee Man

Attendance – 40 (hardy chiels)

Pie – £6 , 2 x pie, coffee and juice

Pint – £4.15 Tennents, Mill of Mundurno

Score Prediction – Me 2 v 0, Wee Man 3 v 0

Season Predictions Total – Me 1 v 2 Wee Man

International fitba is shite so out and about for us on a wet Tuesday
The youngest hardy chiel at Lochside Park
A dog on a dyke. Questionable brolley
No matter the weather, i do really enjoy non league under the lights
A wet one in Bridge of Don
Late action but Hermes again failed to get anything
That infuriating bloody number and colour combo
All straight in the washing machine

Published by pacman1903

Once a football fan. Now a football nerd

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