2025/26 – Portsoy 0 v 4 Ugie

Portsoy Sports Centre, Mike Simpson Memorial Trophy, 15/7/25

Me 351, Wee Man 212

Portsoy Football Club

Founded– First record of a Portsoy FC (There was already a Portsoy Thistle in existence)I can find is entering the Banffshire Charity Cup in 1890. Same Club?

Honours – Need to do some digging.

***DISCLAIMER, I did not get the Ugie team lines so instead, since they are from Keith i have just named the team after famous Keiths

Portsoy most famous for two things in my eyes. Ice-cream and the “Portsoy Pele” himself, Aberdeen FC legend Eoin Jess(Has he signed for Rangers yet?). It is also home of one of three Moray and District teams we were yet to visit, Portsoy FC. We got the ice-cream, we got the fitba however a chance meeting with Eoin in the street didn’t come to pass unfortunately.

Knowing there was to be ample opportunity for a crossbar challenge fest pre-game we left home early with a bit extra to allow us to get an Ice Cream. Key lime pie for me, bubblegum for Wee Man and a seat next to the Soy Loch to eat them while watching a mother duck looking after her one youngster. Which was funny as it was if the duckling was shouting on her telling her to hurry up as it got further away at times. Gave us a good laugh. Kids are wee buggers no matter what species. Then for a 50 minute crossbar challenge at Portsoy Sports Centre. Good fun but it started to reignite my sore bits from the weekend. Getting old these days and there is no way of denying it now.

On the pitch could Portsoy put their league woes to one side in this cup game? With only one win this season it was a big ask and it was soon apparent in the play too. Ugie were the better side with their forwards were causing problems and it was a matter of time before they scored. After blowing a couple of early chances they took the lead when number 10 Cammy(actual first name) Keith (see what I did there) won a header 20 yards out and played himself in to outmuscle the Portsoy defence to hit one low past Shaun Robertson. Two minutes later it was two when Robertson came to collect a cross but missed this leaving number 9 Keith Chegwin to leather the ball home on the half volley. Only a quarter of an hour gone and it was already looking extremely difficult for Portsoy. The fact Ugie keeper Keith Emerson didn’t dirty himself at any point was not helping things. Portsoy couldn’t get up the park and centre forward Tee-Jay Killoh was seriously isolated. One incident in the game I had to laugh at was the booking for “Cammy Keith” when just after being talked to for a late one in the air he was shoved by a Portsoy defender into another taking the defender down with him. He couldn’t do anything about colliding with Callum Taylor but the ref incredibly booked him for it. If he had not been spoken to previously would he have been cautioned? I doubt it. It was a foul on him if anything.

HT 0 v 2

Seven minutes after the break Ugie killed off the game completely and in style too. This when that man again, Keith Chegwin used his pace, which he has in abundance for the record,ran through to the left. No sooner had he cut in, from the apex of the box he let rip with a shit pinger into the far top corner as Roberstson could just watch this wonder strike fly past him. What a goal which received a well deserved round of applause from me. But all jokes aside with names, the man being referred to as Chimpy by his team mates is some player. One of those you think “why the hell are you playing summer welfare?” obviously everyone has their reasons but he could clearly play higher. I noticed his movement off the ball early and his ability to lose his man was class. Top player and a constant threat with his experience to this somewhat youthful Portsoy side. A fourth goal came and again another cracking effort. This time a great team move as opposed to individual brilliance. After stopping a Portsoy attack the ball rapidly made its way up the centre of the park and out wide via numerous feet culminating in number 11 Keith Curle poking the ball through Robertson’s legs as he tried to close down. A superb counter attack. The game was clearly over and not much else happened from here, so much so Ugie keeper “Keith Emerson” was having a conversation with a mannie and his dog behind the goal. Ugie knocked it about awaiting the final whistle which seemed to allow big centre half Keith Allen(number 5) far more touches than you are usually in the habit of seeing central defender have. The men in red made their way into the semi final to meet Aberlour Villa at the wonderful Villa Park in the coming weeks.

That leaves two Moray and District teams to visit to complete the set up. Lhanbryde and Hopeman. But in general the North East is becoming very close to full completion from SPFL down to Welfare. Imagine if Wee Man had not taken to football. Many of these random places would never have been visited. On saying that, ice cream would always have been an incentive to visit Portsoy.

Entrance – Both Free

Attendance – 47

Pie – N/A

Pint – N/A

Score Predictions – Me 0 v 3, Wee Man 0 v 3

Season Score Predictions Total – Me 0 v 0 Wee Man