2022/23 – Inverkeithing Hillfield Swifts 2 v 1 Kelty Hearts

Dalgety Bay Sports Club, Friendly, 18/10/22

Me 253 and Wee Man 127

Inverkeithing Hillfield Swifts Football Club

Founded – 2000

Nickname – Swifts

Honours – None

Random Fact – The club have the longest name in the Scottish football pyramid

A random midweek friendly for my 175th Scottish ground, why not? It got us out the house for the afternoon and took somewhere both of us had never been before in Dalgety Bay. As we were down early we took in a wander about the town and down to the water to throw sticks and stones into the Firth of Forth but spent more time walking on the Fife Coastal path more than anything which was pleasant as the weather was a lot milder than expected. Afterward we headed for food at Louie Brown’s and for pre match scran it was a bit posh. A pan seared pork fillet in red wine jus with black pudding bon bons and it was bloody delightful. Wee Man’s steak burger didn’t last long so I gather he was impressed with his too. This was followed by Sticky toffee pudding, him and crumble, me. A top quality meal and a great choice of eatery . Walking back up to the fitba I was fit to burst.

We still had a bit of time to burn prior to kick off and were even too early to head in for a kick about so wee had a wee blast of Mario Kart in the car where I noticed that even in the darkness it was still 14 degrees C. This meaning we were both well over dressed for the occasion. Finally we entered the ground and I was chuffed to see a pin badge with entry only boosted the price up a pound. That’s a bloody bargain. A pin badge for a pound is a steal but I will still be looking for a pint from my brother as payment (come to think of it I am still due hundreds of pints from over the years if you are reading min).

I didn’t know what to expect from tonight. I was hoping for a strong Kelty side but it seemed it was a bit of a mix. This making our score predictions look unlikely, The first half was decent for a friendly. Both teams created chances throughout and there was even a very unfriendly collision between striker and goalkeeper that saw Swifts keeper walloped when in possession of the ball. The Kelty front man knew what he was doing and Gibb was left poleaxed. Not long after finding his feet again Gibb was picking the ball out of the net when after his defence failed to clear leaving Miguel Kamgna a gift from close range. He whirled off to celebrate with a forward flip which would not have earned many points as the landing was poor and the forward went over on to his front. I had to laugh. Another moment of hilarity came later in the when Kelty man Robbie McNabb crossed the ball up and out of the ground right in front of Wee man and me. It was a poor effort, no doubting it and he knew it himself as he told Wee Man that it was “fucking honking” . This extending Junior’s vocabulary, thankfully the latter of the two words. Every mistake or miss from then on was greeted with “that’s honking”. Swifts equalised through a great team goal which was anything but honking. The highlight of the move was the ball in from Callum Dignan as it was perfect and right on to the toe of Evans at the far side who took the ball down and finished with his second touch. A good goal and deserved from a Swifts team who were giving as good as the were getting from the team three divisions above. They were unlucky to not head in to the break in the lead after Brodie Strang rattled the woodwork from ten yards. A decent half of football as far as friendlies go. One complaint though, the bounce of the ball was strange at times. It was not true. A few times I noticed this. The joys of a plastic pitch. But it’s a minor moan.

HT 1 v 1

The second half did not live up to the first and kind of slumped a bit. But Inverkeithing were the better team I would say. They created chances they were in the SPFL team’s face and made a great fist of things. That’s not saying Kelty didn’t have their moments and came close with a couple of headers. Swifts grabbed a second around ten minutes into the half, a goal which turned out to be the winner. To use a worn out line, the goal was deserving of winning any game. An almost 25 yard freekick from the left side of the box placed into the top right hand corner with pin point accuracy. A stunner from Greig Spence. The Swifts did have the ball in the back of the net again but it was ruled offside, a decision I think was correct. That was it action wise barring Wee Man spilling a full bag of cheese and onion on the deck much to his dismay. Seeing his gutted face I had to get him another packet despite his own daftness causing the incident in the first place. There was this and catching up with pie aficionado and fitba man Dave Stoker again. Always a pleasure. But back to the games action, a friendly maybe but surely a confidence booster for Inverkeithing Hillfield Swifts going forward.

A 260 mile journey for a friendly may seem silly but It was worth it. An afternoon out, a new ground, a reasonable game overall and Wee Man learning a new word which was used a lot on the way home while he played and commentated on his game of Mario Golf from the back seat. His round must have been “honking”. What isn’t honking though, it took exactly two hours to get home. Hail the AWPR.