Guldager Idrætscenter, DBU Jutland Series 4, 23/9/22
Coconut Lions Football Club
Founded – Circa 1991
Nickname – The Lions
Honours – Unknown
Random Fact – A hard club to find info on however I did find a youtube video on a song on the the club called “Coconut Lions – Rock n’ Roll Club”.
Dipping even deeper into the DBU pyramid I found myself on the outskirts of Esbjerg to take in tier 11 game between the fantastically named hosts and their opponents from fifteen miles down the road. Not the original plan for the night but with the local pros Esbjerg FB cancelling their match v Thisted due to Danish U21 call ups I was at an enforced loose end. Never one to be bothered by staring in the face of adversity I found a ninety minutes to watch. Before I set of for work I looked up teams from the city and obviously this one stuck out, the plan was actually to watch them next weekend but needs must and they were brought forward seven days. Playing out of the Guldager Idrætscenter under the lights and on the 3G pitch the Lions seem to be a close knit team from what I gathered going by the banter between fans and players. I perched myself next to the dugout and was immediately in conversation with Harald who turned out to a wealth of information on the game and helped with a few details. Unfortunately, not where the name came from though. What he did explain is how the leagues are regionalised. This I knew but I was not sure how far a region stretched. He told me Bramming would be at the furthest extremities of this region meaning teams are no further than 15 miles from each other. He also told me Bramming B were probably the best team in the league. This making me think a big score was coming,
As the teams lined up for their pre match handshakes another thing immediately struck me. The difference in personnel. By this I mean, Bramming were lean and mean, the Lions not so much. Harald further went on to explain that although this was the Bramming B side it would most likely have A players in it. Its not like the shitty colts back home where you have to be registered to play in the pre sesaon. Its more reserve like, if you are at the club, you are eligible for all teams. With a side further up the pyramid they can get players who are maybe not getting much game time and too good for the lower divisions, this being an unfair advantage for opposition teams without such luxuries.
The match went the way it was expected. Bramming’s Frederick Forum brought out a decent save from Lions keeper Hansen in the first minute and from here it was one way traffic. Bramming were finding immense amounts of space all across the pitch and it was only a matter of time before they scored. The first goal came from Mads Elholm who was expertly put in by team mate Jeppe Staehr, the striker’s first effort struck the post but he made no mistake with the rebound. It didn’t take long the score to be doubled when Forum was found in acres of space inside the box to slide home a composed effort. At this point I feared the worst for the Lions. A third goal came or so it was thought when Viuf struck a sensational effort from a tight angle which hit the bar, then bounced on backspin out of the goal. The referee gave it, then the referee taketh away. Strange decision. It was not to matter though. Coconut Lions struggle got even worse just prior to half time when Thomas Holm was sent off for handball on the line. But Hansen managed to save the resulting atrocious penalty that followed from Lasse Viuf. By atrocious it was really awful .
HT 0 v 2
The second half was all played in the Lions’ half and it looked like the massacre was to be on. It was not great to watch in all truth and six could have been double figures if Bramming did not squander a host of chances. It took twenty minutes for them to add to their tally and it was Oliver Moldrup Petersen on hand to tap in. Less than a minute later, Forum smashed home a header from close range. Five minutes later Mads Meldgaard Petersen thumped home an effort into the roof of the net from ten yards after bullying his way through the defence. It was that man Petersen who rounded up the scoring with a couple of minutes to go with a tap in after some great work on the wing from Christiansen. Bramming may have won 6 v 0 but they were surely in for a bollocking for being so wasteful. Not the greatest game I will ever attend but it had its upsides, the people were sound, especially Harald and I got a couple of tinnies down me on the side line. It could have been worse but it could have been a lot better for my 75th foreign ground.
Another thing to come from the night. Why are they called Coconut Lions. I suppose this will just have to remain one of life’s mysteries.
Entrance – Free
Attendance – 44
Pie – N/A
Pint – Cans of Royal Pilsener on the sideline