Coulardbank Road, NRJFA Championship, 13/8/22
Me 240, Wee Man 117
Lossiemouth United Football Club
Founded – 1919 (with various periods of abeyance returning in 1949, 1964, 2022)
Nickname – Lossie United
Random Fact– Lossie United are the last to side to beat Formartine United prior to the Pitmedden side stepping up to the Highland League
I struck it lucky here with Wee Man’s choice of games. As it was a Saturday I gave him three games. Brora Rangers v Banks o’ Dee, Dufftown v Culter and a trip to Lossie. By picking Lossie he enabled me to complete the current 30 North Region Junior teams(watched a game at them all).
However, also due to it being a Saturday and a beautiful one at that we were not going to waste the pre-match. Points of interest and picnic were a must. Asking what he Wee Man fancied he said a castle and a picnic. The bonus being Duffus Castle sits the other side of RAF Lossiemouth from the town itself. A munch while listening to Off the Ball in the carpark in the glorious sun was followed by a brief walk about the castle. It’s ruined with not much left and doesn’t take long but its a motte situated castle which led to a few pertinent questions from Wee Man. Following this I fancied a quick visit to the Windswept Brewery for a look. This was so I could pick up a few beers for the inevitable Serie A viewing at night. This also led to having a swift one before heading to “Phoenix Park”.
Strange goings on happened as we got closer to the ground. The glorious sun that had been glowing upon us all day disappeared being replaced with harr which left Lossiemouth set in an eerie, spooky film like state. As we made our way from the car to Coulardbank Road you could see the mist moving as if flares had been let off in the vicinity. Speaking of arriving at the ground, it was immediately apparent this is a club with great people. You would be hard pushed to meet a friendlier committee. I have been to many non-league grounds and spoken to numerous committee and everyone we spoke to here were brilliant and put the club up there with the best. With Alex, John and Ryan blethering about all things Juniors and the return of the club. A return which hypothetically could see a Lossiemouth derby next season.(It wont happen but with the pyramid is possible). These guys were then followed by the exceptionally lovely Norma and Sam on gate and food duties bur also amiable welcoming duties too. Brilliantly the club also gifted Wee Man a pennant to add to his collection which was a fine touch. I couldn’t help but want them to win the match.( A rarity as I like to stay impartial)
Unfortunately the game was to pan out in a one sided fashion in favour of the man from Aberdeenshire. Longside started in the attacking way they were to continue to do throughout and should have been in the lead early doors when a great move culminated at Duncan Wallace who shot just over the bar. Longside had a lot more of the ball and controlled the game for large spells. Their next big chance came when Adam Taylor rushed clean through , his effort beat Hall in the Lossie goal but struck the upright. A let off for the hosts. Going by the possession and the will to get forward a goal for Longside was inevitable. Even more inevitably Wee Man wanted the toilet meaning we missed it. As we walked out the clubhouse we were informed it was 0 v 1 via a headed OG. But a few seconds later we saw the second and I am glad we did, as it was a fantastic twenty five yard strike from Jack William Castel Daniel(how is that for a name?). A cracking strike heaping the woes on to Lossie. Lossie did create a couple of chances and really should have halved Longside’s lead when a superb McLaren ball made its way across the six yard line missing every one barring Matt Cuffley at the back post who belated slid in and put the ball agonisingly wide. Would he have scored if he timed the slide better? I think so. Longside were not finished for the half and as good as killed the game come half time when Ryan Wilson headed home a perfectly delivered Wallace header. This leaving an almighty task for the league new boys.
HT 0 v 3
It did not take long for the lead to be increased and it was down to some naive defending from Lossie leaving Callum Kelly clean through to finish neatly from twelve or so yards. Longside continued to create but couldn’t find the end results. Lossie on the other hand didn’t create much but when they did it was by playing the simple ball. Something the players didn’t always do which was more than noticeable. One of my pet hates reared its head right in front of Wee Man and me. Lossie defender Wood committed lets say, a professional foul twenty yards from goal. This led to to numerous shouts of “last man” from the red and black men while trying to get the Lossie man sent off. “Last man” does not exist and I find it incredible so many people and players think this is a rule. The referee had to state “I am dealing with it” following up with “last man doesn’t exist”. Wood was booked for his foul. Longside added a fifth from the resulting freekick when Wilson rose to head the cross perfectly over Hall who was left just to admire the header as it sailed up and over him. Longside didn’t sit on the five and pushed for more while being awarded a multitude of corners. Over the match Longside seemed to gain over the odds in terms of corners. Maybe it was just me but is seemed a plethora of kicks. As stated Lossie did create a few chances in the second half when they played simple football but nothing too solid or challenging for Jamie Williamson in the Longside goal until the dying embers when they grabbed a consolation through captain Kane. The defender out jumped everyone and headed home a corner not long before the game was brought to an climax.
A very good day. A milestone achieved, one of the warmest clubs we have visited to date, a few goals and chuffed wee boy. A winner all round. On the people we met, it hammers home once again that what Wee Man and I get up up to is well worth it and the Pittodrie hiatus is still not regretted at all. You are not just a customer at this level and you get the chance to meet great people and today was a prime example of that. Good luck to Lossiemouth United in future and welcome back to the Juniors.
Entrance – Me £4, £0 Wee Man
Attendance – 43 + 18 rogues
Pie – £6, Pie x 2 and coffee
Pint – £3, Aurora, Windswept Tap Room
Score Predictions – Me 1 v 1, Wee Man 1 v 3
Overall Seasons Predictions Total– Me 0 v 0 Wee Man
FITBAWBAG 