Mans best friend is a dog so they say. Well I’ll disagree. The first reason being cats are better, the second being the more important of the two reasons, the person who came up with that line surely didn’t have a fitba mad five year old to accompany them to random towns all over Scotland and sometimes further afield. Obviously with a lot of time on our hands just now, I noticed its the two year anniversary of Wee Man becoming a ground botherer. So heres a daft piece dedicated to that little boy. Long may our travels continue
It’s now two years since he interrupted me watching Hannover v Werder Bremen on a Friday night when he randomly got out of bed and came down the stairs. This led to the words I had longed to hear him say. “Daddy, can I come to the football with you”. Two years later he has bagged fifty-one grounds and this is what he thinks of it all. In his unedited words too
FB– Do you remember your first game?
WM– Next to Tesco and the Chuff Chuffs (Inverurie Loco Cheerleaders, Harlaw Park is across the road)
FB – That’s right pal. Who was playing?
WM-Stonehaven and eh eh eh. Remember I had a bad cough?
FB-That’s right mate. It went away with a drink of water though
WM– We got chips on the way home
FB– No we didn’t .
WM– We did, from Newmachar.
FB– Ok we did (we definatley didn’t as that’s well out the way of Inverurie)
FB– Who was the other team? Colo…..
FB– Good one. Can you remember the other teams we have been too?
WM– Hmmmm Sauchie, Largs, Linlithgow, Lochee, Airdrie, hmmm(slight pause as he watched the cat with a centipede), Banks o’ Dee, Spartans, Blyth Spartans, Shotts Bon Accord. Can we play Kerplunk?
FB– Soon pal. where else were you?
WM – Forfar West End. Can I have a biscuit?
I go and get the biscuit box
WM– Inverness(Caley), Shotts Bon Accord
FB – You have said them
WM -(laughter) Silly me, Sunderland, Dundalk, Dungannon(Swifts), Hurlford(United), Islavale, Rothes, Beith, BSC (Glasgow),
FB – You are doing well dude.
WM – Who is going to be on the Chase. Jenny I think. (The Chase is his favourite program)
FB – Beast man hasn’t been on for a few days (Turns out it was Anne)
FB -Anymore teams?
WM – Cumnock, Musselburgh (Athletic), Aberdeen, Motherwell
FB– Musselburgh and Motherwell we have seen but haven’t been to
WM – Musselburgh scored heeeeeeeeeeeaps
FB – How many?
WM – Seven (Beat Mid Annandale 7-0)
FB – Who else scored seven?
WM – I don’t know
FB – Armadale Thistle
WM – Oh yeah. We been there?
FB – Nope, but they are on the list for next season. Volunteer Park
WM– Voluuuuunteeeeer Park
FB– That’s right
WM – When the bugs are away?
FB – Yeah whenever that is
WM-Stupid bugs are stopping us doing all our favourite things. Football, swimming, going to Grandma and Mattys (Matty is his name for his Granda since he could speak).
FB – Yeah its rubbish . Where did we go to watch with Matty?
WM – Near the airport
FB– That’s right Banks o Dee v Stonehaven at Dyce
WM – Where else have we been?
FB– Let me look at the list
WM – Kilmarnock and Buckie Thistle
(Interesting to see he didn’t get many of the really early ones)
FB – So Culter, Dundee Violet, Cove R******s, Camelon, Morton, Tayport,
WM– Remember Cappie the Cat daddy, he was filthy
FB– Really wet too
FB – Whitburn, Albion, Inverurie Locos, Dundee United
WM– Remember Terry the Terror and the little one
FB – Tiny Terror
WM– Tiny Terror was little
FB– What about Nutz the squirrel at Kilmarnock
WM – Hes my favourite?
FB – Even more than Angus the Bull
WM– Eh no. My favourites are Angus, Si ,Donny then Nutz
FB– Good man, remember meeting all the Aberdeen mascots. You loved it
WM– Who else?
FB – Downfield, Blairgowrie, Coupar Angus, Dunipace, Peterhead
WM – That was Aberdeen?
FB– Yeah mate, Kelty Hearts, Bathgate, Deveronside, Forres Mechanics, Huntly, St Cuthberts, Arbroath Victoria, Kirrie Thistle, Blackburn United, Falkirk and Cumbernauld Colts. That’s them all
WM – Where do we have to go?
FB– Well you tell me dude
WM– Ajax but not until I am seven(I have no idea why seven), Motherwell, Musselburgh, Kilwinning(R*****s), Pollok, Formartine (United),St Johnstone and ehhh…….Blantyre (Victoria)
FB– You have a new one from the TV remember
WM – The warm place?
FB– That’s right, remember in Argentina
WM – Not sure
FB – River Plate
WM– Is that the white team. I’m not going until I’m fourteen
FB– Ok ill start saving
FB – Do you remember who you seen the most?
WM – Spartans but not Blyth
FB – No not any more. Lochee United. Four times nows
FB – Who are your favourite teams?
WM– Eh Aberdeen and eh……Pollok and eh…… Rothes
WM – We are never going to Rangers or the Celtic
FB– We don’t need too
WM– They are big games anyway. I don’t want to go
FB – Where do you want to go when the bugs are gone
WM – Belfast
FB– Again. We have been before.
WM– But remember where we drove past floodlights and you said we will go another time
FB – Oh yeah, that was Crusaders
WM– Can We Play Kerplunk? Is Crusaders a big game?
FB– Yeah a couple of more questions and we can. Crusaders isn’t a big game. You will like it
WM– Can we go?
FB– Ok. But where do you want to drive to?
WM– Can we drive to Kilwinning?
FB– yeah mate and we will
WM– What about Amodale?(must mean the aforementioned Armadale Thistle)
FB– Yeah we will do that for sure.
FB– What is your favourite things about the fitba?
WM– Hotels, taking my ball. Picnics too………and the angry man at Airdrie
FB– the player?
WM– Yeah remember he jumped and shouted “argggggggggh”
FB – that was well funny as it echoed
WM– I like scarves too
FB – Who have you got so far?
WM– Blyth Spartans, Dundalk, Dungannon, Sunderland and Sauchie.
WM – The jumping men at Rothes were funny
FB – These guys(show him the video on my phone)
WM– Can we go and see Rothes again?
FB– We were supposed to at Formartine but the stupid bugs stopped us
WM – Stupid bugs
WM – Remember I pooped at Airdrie
FB– (laughter) and Albion you brave man (more laughter)
FB – how many grounds you been to?
WM– fifty one
FB – how many do you want to go to?
WM -a hundred…..no five hundred
FB – With your old boy
WM – Yeah and we can have picnics when the bugs are away
FB– We will mate, soon enough. Go get the Kerplunk
So there you go, an insight into a five year old ground botherers brain. Quite funny how it works. Interesting that he named very little of the early games. But he does remember his first Pittodrie visit which was game number eight. He is better at remembering the names of teams seen than he showed because he always uses them when he scores in the backie. Cant be many kids in the ‘shire shouting “goal for Downfield” when having a kick about.
Haste ye back fitba. There is a Wee Man needing trips to Ayrshire, West Lothian and County Antrim. His old boy is champing at the bit too