East Of Scotland Cup, Creamery Park, 31/8/19
Bathgate Thistle Community Football Club
Founded: 1937 (Became a community club in 2013)
Honours: Scottish Junior Cup 2007/08
Current Division: East of Scotland Superleague South
Random Fact: One of the club sponsors is advertised on entrance to Creamery Park. “The Bathgate Union Jack Rangers Supporters Club” who “Proudly Sponsor Bathgate Thistle” . This officially making Bathgate Thistle a bunch of disgusting hun loving bastards.
I was actually heading to Hurlford v Beith today but due to noticing the Five Sisters Zoo in near by West Calder, the fact I would have Wee Man and it was a derby in West Lothian, I ended up changing my mind late on in the week. The outcome was still the same. Another Scottish Junior Cup winning team in my life ticked off. This change being a great idea due to the fact Wee Man loved the Zoo. A little place but it has Lions, Brown Bears, Artic Wolves(stunning animals), Lynx (they were my favourite there, beautiful things) and many many more species. This inclusive of a seriously pissed off otter. A great wee place if you are in the area. The switch of games also turned out to be a great idea due to the torrential rain in the West Coast putting Hurlford v Beith off due to water logging.
Due to ridiculous queues to get to Bathgate we were ten minutes late. This was not generated by people wanting to see the derby, but due to the roundabout on Glasgow Road being shut at one side meaning traffic lights on the four exits letting five cars through at a time. A truly bullshit set up which led to us taking fifty minutes to get from West Calder to Bathgate which is only six miles. Due to this ten minutes an Armadale goal and a Bathgate sending off were missed. I had to ask a the Armadale subs to fill me in. I wasn’t given much of a description of the goal but the red card was for two yellows but one was allegedly a red in its self as it was an elbow. The fact we missed what me missed didn’t bother me too much as the result was going the way it had to as Wee Man and I were fully fledged Armadale fans for the day. The reason for this was after seeing the vomit inducing sponsor board proclaiming the club are proudly supported by a fucking sevco supporters club. Barring having the urge to puke, I wanted Armadale to win 10-0. Its not often we are partisan when watching random football but going by what greeted us at the gate, it was our duty
The game had clearly ruined by the sending off. For the first ten minutes I saw Armadale just knocked the ball about and made Bathgate chase. The home side just couldn’t cope being a man down and were getting the piss ripped out of them. Which I’m not going to deny was satisfying to see. The lead was doubled with a decent header which got the cheer and clap it deserved from Wee man and me. The next thing we knew it was half time. Its amazing how short a half feels when you only see thirty five minutes.
The second half was great to watch. I didn’t quite get the preferred 10-0 but I did get sore hands from the glut of Armadale goals that came in the second period. It didn’t take long as within fifteen seconds of the restart Armadale killed the game of any doubt. A swift passing move left the striker one on one who finished by stabbing the ball into the keepers right hand corner from eighteen yards. This quickly turned into four when a neat placed finished got the impressive in number Armadale supporters in raptures. I never think a score line is an embarrassment until its five clear goals and the fifth was worthy of creating the embarrassment. The hit came from around thirty five yards, didn’t lift more than two inches off of the grass tips and rocketed past the hapless keeper into the same corner as the other two goals in the half. Finished with aplomb. If five was embarrassing then six is a rubbing salt in the wounds. The manner of the goal summed up Bathgates day but also put my joy through the roof and got me thinking, maybe just maybe I would get the ten I so much desired. This goal was a calamity. The Bathgate keeper made a routine catch and seemed to hurriedly throw the ball out but threw it directly to the Armadale wide man who was at the crook of the box . Once he collected he ran three yards and crossed leaving a tap in for his team mate who again found the keepers bottom right hand corner. Unfortunately, straight from the centre the home side went up the park and grabbed an undeserved consolation. To be fair to the striker he took it very well leaving the keeper with no chance , blasting from five yards into the roof of the net. That wasnt the end of the scoring though . There were two more to come. One chopped off and one standing. The chopped off goal brought the highlight of the game(barring the embarrassment for the huns). There were a few clear offsides in the lead up but the flag only went up when the ball was tucked away(that same corner again). The frustrations of the humped home players was clear and the centre half took his protests a bit far leading to a booking. The best bit being when the ref raised the card the wind bizarrely picked up and blew the yellow out of his hand. I don’t think ive ever seen that and I know Wee Man loved it given his breakdown into a laughing fit. As the game was heading towards the final whistle we nipped for a piss(long road back to the Shire) and we were coming back and the pitch came into view there was a Bathgate player airborne mid wacky challenge. It almost looked in slow motion when he finally clattered the Armadale player. The second yellow was quickly brandished (and held on to) and the hosts were down to nine men. Then to add insult to injury, the free kick led to a seventh and a completion of the massacre . The ball being struck across the keeper from the edge of the box and into that familiar corner. The home team had been fucking mullered but the entertainment wasn’t over. The seventh goal led to in team fighting between centre half and midfielder with the ref having to break them up. The cherry on the icing on the lovely hun destruction cake
Quality entertainment and a good way to sign off before another offshore trip. Ten games have been viewed since my self enforced Pittodrie exile and I have been served up forty six goals and Wee Man forty two as he missed Cliftonville. This season has the potential of being a proper breath of fresh air. Roll on my return in October
Me 159 , Wee Man 32