North Lodge, Highland Football League, 21/3/26
Formartine United Football Club
Founded – 1948
Nickname – United
Honours (Since step up to senior)- Highland League Cup – 2017/18. Aberdeenshire Cup – 2013/14 and 2017/18. Aberdeenshire Shield – 2018/19.
I am quick to hype up the Highland League as the greatest in the world, I genuinely mean it every time I utter my unofficial title for the league. I have watched it since I was kid and as an adult have come to appreciate more than any other set up in the game. But even the best can have an off day and good grief we found it today in Pitmedden as the 14th blank of the HFL campaign was played out this season. Looking at the stats, this always had the potential for a blank as Formartine have had three previously and Huntly two so far this campaign coming into this drab affair at North Lodge. This was a terrible watch, so bad it got me thinking of any more action devoid games I had witnessed in the past, and let me tell you, I am struggling for an answer.
Prior to the game we were out at Skene for the Wee Man’s fitba where he was taking on Westdyke. 2014s fitba and it threw up some awesome action where his Blackburn team were down 1 v 0 with one minute to go and going on to win 1 v 2. What a finish to a game which got the blood pumping for sure. A superb start to the day. Then we chose to head to North Lodge, where the first half had very little to talk about. We could start with the pitch which is wrecked which is a shame. The weather at the start of the year has destroyed what was a stunning snooker table earlier in the season. Sometimes you just cant beat mother nature and the deluge that hit the north east earlier in 2026 has won. The pitch now tears up under a stud whether running in anger or just walking. A real gutting one for the groundsman who had done a superb job on the park. Beyond clumps of mud and turf flying and a load of fouls stopping any flow, there was little else to talk about other than what I though was a penalty when home defender Rhys Thomas had his ankle stamped on in the box. I thought it was clear, I was also returning from getting a pie and had the same view as the lino. I would have thought he would have given it as his view was unblocked.
HT 0 v 0
During the break the Wee Man said to me “this is rubbish and there wont be goals”. I still had faith. I should have listened to him. In fact I should have made an early exit as I did on Wednesday at the Locos but not in search of pints, just in search of anything that resembled fun as this match did not tick that box in the slightest. What wasnt helping was the breeze that was making it bloody freezing for me as my body is ruined after six weeks down on the tropic of capricorn in 30 degree heat. I was shivering come the end of the 90. With both keepers Stuart McKenzie (United) and Lenny Wilson (Huntly) having nothing but routine plucks out of the air first half I was hoping to see some sort of saves in the second half, for Wee Man more so being the keeper and to give him something to talk about. Two saves came in the half. Both from Wilson and both from similar circumstances. The first from a Hamish Ritchie free kick which although bent round the wall was tame and easly gathered with a dive to his left. The second was the best moment in the game where again a Ritchie free kick was struck at him but this time with more venom. The purple clad keeper parried it back into the danger zone where it looked like a tap in for a home player but Wilson was up rapidly to throw his body at the ball and block brilliantly taking a sore one in the process and a top piece of goalkeeping. McKenzie up the other end had nothing of note all game. The only other action was Formartine hitting the post late on when either Ritchie or Murison (a blondie anyway) bent an effort past Wilson off the post. That was that for a dreadful game of fitba which I am surprised I managed more than ten words for. If I am to highlight anything else it is United defender Scott Ross and his ability to read a game. A very tidy centre half him and good to keep an eye on during a match. Doesnt put a foot wrong while making things look simple.
I am sure both team and everyone connected will soon forget this midden of a game. We only had nine miles to get home, spare a thought for the group next to us all game, they had travelled from the Midlands for this. Oooocha.
Entrance – Me £12, Wee Man free
Attendance – Too many unfortunate souls
Pie – £8.50, pie x 2, coffee and juice
Pint – Corporate prevented cash bar today
Score Predictions – Me 1 v 1, Wee Man 2 v 1
Season Score Prediction Totals – Me 3 v 2 Wee Man
FITBAWBAG 