Kaimhill, AAFA Division 1 East, 12/4/25
Me 340, Wee Man 203
Kaimhill United Amateur Football Club
Founded – 2010
Nickname – N/A
Honours – Division One (North) –2022/23. Edmond Trophy – 2018/19. Stephen Shield – 2022/23.
The latest installment of Ellon Thistle’s Premier League aspirations. This time doon beside the ski slope and a bloody lovely day for it too. So lovely, we decided on a picnic and a one hour long kick about prior to kick off. This on the Kaimhill pitch, during which it gave us a first view of the state of what faced both sides. Think a park that has been over used and ruined in the wet. Then think never being rolled and left to dry in the recent heat. Then think bobbles and ruts and a serious lack of grass in parts. This was far from conducive to allowing any decent fitba being played. I said to Wee Man that it could be a seriously ugly game and Ellon just needed to take the points however that may be possible and get out of the place. Both happened. The Jags won but the game was poor. But at this point of the season only one of the details matters. I am sure Thistle would take a 1 v 0 win with an OG every game. But to be fair, despite the conditions the performance was “professional” and it was job done.
Thistle went after the opener from the off and almost got it early via a hairy moment for Kaimhill keeper Indres who misjudged a high ball only to be relieved to see it go wide of his left post. But he was picking the ball out of the net not too long after when Cammy Moir rifled in an effort from 15 yards. A great finish but he was in fact the fourth Thistle player to have a go in a comedy of errors starting from Moffatt then Donald then Webster all fluffing their lines with multiple efforts from inside the box with the ball finally breaking to Moir who almost ripped off the lashings of tape holding the net on to the goal frame. Thistle were never in too much danger and personally I was not thinking of anything other than the three points heading back north along the A90. There was a pen shout for Thistle towards the end of the half but the referee missed it despite it being clear as day that it was handball, but the man in the middle couldn’t miss the next shout when Donald was flattened(I couldn’t see for the post but Wee Man assures me it was the Thistle striker that was felled). Donald stepped up and hammered home past Indres with the last kick of the half giving Thistle a decent lead going into the half time break. But as stated, not a classic by any stretch. One highlight of the half for me was watching Ryan Webster, the man does not shirk from anything and is solid firing into every tackle. There is almost an old school vibe to the Thistle defender.
HT 0 v 2
The second half was arguably worse. This obviously was caused by the park, but also in conjunction with a referee who seemed to blow for offside with every break. It was ridiculous. To be fair I wasn’t in a position to know for sure if they were off or not but bloody hell neither was he. I shit you not he called a Thistle player offside in the box while he himself was situated in the vicinity of the opposite 18 yard line. You are talking 70 yards from the perceived infringement. That was the worst but there were plenty more and it just killed the game completely. He looked to have tired and couldn’t keep up with play. Kaimhill made a change introducing Uyi Umineni who made a sizable difference to the match. It made me wonder why he did not start. Fast feet, quick on his bike and a nuisance. Between him and number 4, Ethan Allan who was also a good player, they were getting forward a bit more in the second half. But the game was still scrappy. Then came the highlight of the match when some ear piercing screeching emanated from above us as a blur of a low flying bird jetted over our heads into a bush. The noise got worse so Wee Man and I went to investigate, as we got closer a host of magpies started dive bombing the bush as what sounded like screaming continued. I had no idea what we were about to face. It turned out it was a evil looking bastard of a hawk who had grabbed a magpie was trying to tear the unfortunate black and white feathered one to bits with its razor sharp talons. As it tried, an army of magpies (not the Saudi loving sport washing types) were not amused and were having a go at trying to rescue their pal, this went on for between five and 10 minutes meaning we missed what as going on within the white lines(I am guessing nothing to be honest). Avian warfare was definitely a first for me at a fitba match but the fact this was happening in an inner city location made it even more surreal. On the pitch Thistle wrapped things up when Misacas whipped a ball into the box , one that looked like a simple pick up for the United keeper, but he made a meal of it and somehow palmed it through his own legs leaving Ross Fraser with a tap in finishing off proceedings, maybe finishing proceedings during the 90 minutes but there was still a bit of action to come after the final whistle. This coming during the hand shakes. As Andreas Misacas went to shake Umineni’s hand the Kaimhill man instead threw a punch, this followed by a slap. I can only imagine the striker had taken exception to the late tackle on him moments earlier from Blakey which the Thistle man was cautioned for . I thought the Kaimhill substitute was away to have his teeth removed as David Coutts had clearly seen this from a distance and went steaming in, but the melee that ensued possibly saved the Kaimhill man as the crowd blocked “Deej” from getting at him. Lucky boy I would say.
A win is a win no matter how they come. Three points are three points whether they are gained by bonnie fitba or shitey scrappy battles. It’s all the same and that was a good three points today given the factors involved. Thistles title push continues, next up, Jim Glennie Park to face Stonehaven Athletic. The fortunes of this great team are more important to me than Aberdeen’s fortunes just now and to see players of old coming out to back them is ace to see. These guys dating back to the 2000s(myself) , there have been guys from the 70’s and 80’s and 90’s at other games and Kaimhill also saw George Rennie watching. This a man who played in the first ever Thistle side in 1968. Today also saw an appearance from ex-physio Wullie Webster, one of life’s good guys.
One bummer from the day, Wee Man got the score correct levelling us up for the season.
‘mon the Jags
Entrance – Both Free
Attendance – 35
Pie – N/A but a bag full of picnic was at hand
Pint – N/A
Score Predictions – Me 0 v 4, Wee Man 0 v 3
Season Score Predictions Total – 3 v 3
FITBAWBAG 