Brownlands Park, East of Scotland Premier Division, 8/1/25
Me 330, Wee Man 196
Luncarty Junior Football Club
Founded -1886
Nickname – The Bleachers
Honours –Perthshire Junior League – 1928/29, 1931/32, 1949/50 and 1964/65. Tayside League Division Two – 1972/73 and 1989/90. Constitutional Cup – 1940–41, 1964–66. Currie Cup -1957/ 58. PA Cup -1963/64 and 1971/72. Perthshire Junior Cup – 1940/41, 1952/53 and 1963/64. Perthshire Rose Bowl – 1962/63 and 1968/69. Supplementary League – 1968/69. Davie Scott Good Conduct Trophy – 1983/84, 1991/92 and 1993/94. Alex Jack Cup – 2022/23. Cup Winners Shield – 2022/23
Random Fact – A total geographical anomaly. The Bleachers are the most northern club in the East of Scotland League set up, they find themselves so far north they are above teams in the Midland League such as Scone Thistle, Letham, Tayport and Broughty Athletic. While at the same time they find themselves closer to Stonehaven in the North Region Juniors than Haddington Athletic and Dunbar United in their own league. While Penicuik Athletic, also in their league are equidistant with Stonehaven JFC
Luncarty, a wee unassuming place, so much so there is one sign post if you head there from the north via the Glamis turn off at Forfar. With that sign being around 200 yards before you are in Luncarty, it is as if they dont want you to find it. There is not much in the town as we were to find out after a dreich wander about pre game in the Perth and Kinross rain. The town was supposedly host to a battle between the Scots and the “Norsemen” in 990 where the King Kenneth III’s fighters came back from the brink of defeat and annihilated the Danes. (A story like many questioned by historians). This happening to the south of the town near the Tay, unfortunately a bit far for us to walk to given the time available. Back to the town and our wander, the only thing it threw up was the Mort House, which is situated pretty much next to Brownlands. I do have a passion for the more grisly parts of history. Mort houses fit the bill.
With the rain falling we decided to see if there was any football was on in the Social Club. We were in luck with Leyton Orient leading some plastic bunch on all the tellys as we walked in to this fair sized and tidy social club.This kept Wee Man entertained as I looked through the collection of pennants on the wall, another thing I have a lot of time for. Picking out the local sides to us, I noticed two Stonehaven JFC items meaning the Hive are the only side to grace the wall more than once. More entertainment was soon to follow. Just as the Bleachers management team of Stevie McAllister and Lee Swan had taken a seat to talk tactics, a woman with a dog came into the bar and the dog thought it was in its best interests to take a shite in front of the Luncarty gaffers. The woman rightly a bit affronted grabbed the brownie in a bag and went to dispose of it outside. As she returned the dog gleefully following behind then decided it wasn’t quite finished and took a piss on the floor to which the woman looked about thinking nobody saw it as she rubbed it into the carpet with the sole of her foot.
A pint and a J2O down the hatch and we headed into Brownlands early for a lengthy kick about . Just as we were walking out a bus load of visiting fans appeared which suggested the crowd was to be well tipped in the favour of the league leaders. As we got in you see the ground is compact, nothing wrong with that at all and it has its quirks. The first being, its proximity to the train track. I have mentioned many times that I will die on the hill of no playing surface in the pyramid has trains whizzing by closer than Spain Park of Banks o’ Dee. When I have suggested this Luncarty has always been thrown at me. Although the Scotrails are close, they are nowhere near as close as the Dee, this due to the height of the hill. Brownlands is more akin to Irvine Vics. Another immediately obvious quirk of Brownlands, a bamboo fence behind one of the goals, I am positive this is a first for me in the guts of 350 grounds. Tiki fitba. Then another wee addition, the guy cooking pizzas in the carpark.
Given the league positions of the clubs I was expecting an easy afternoons work for runaway league leaders Musselburgh. It didn’t quite go that way but I suspect the Burgh had more gears to go through. The two early goals seemed to make them think they were home and hosed. Speaking of early, 4 minutes into the game the hot food had sold out as I found out after queuing. Had they underestimated the travelling support? After getting a steak pie from the second batch later, I am inclined to think it all sold out as they were ace. A lovely pie once it was safe to eat(the gravy would have burned your face off if you dived straight in. Lava like). I heard some visiting fans talking them up which is always a good sign, Wee Man loved his and I was certainly bigging it up to junior as I ate mine. The simple things in life are the best and a good steak pie is up there. Back to the early goals. Musselburgh were clearly the superior team from the off. The diagonal balls and utilization of pace out wide was clearly their go to and it was working as the Bleachers full backs were struggling a bit. The opener came from a big throw which found the head of Jamie Todd who directed the ball across the goal well out of reach of Luncarty keeper Curtis. This on 8 minutes. Musselburgh kept at the task and you could sense a second coming. It did when another diagonal found Evans at the edge of the box. The Burgh number seven seemed to take an age on the ball and I even said to Wee Man “fits he deeing” and no sooner had I finished the sentence he pinged the ball into the box where Jo Smith was on hand to double the lead with a second headed goal of the match. This is where I felt the Burgh dropped their intensity a bit and let the home side into the game with numerous chances created including two efforts cleared off the line with a body block and a header. In amongst this I had a few questions of some of the decisions being made by the ref. A lot of guess work seemed to be going on.
HT 0 v 2
It was game on early doors as Luncarty halved the deficit via a pretty minging goal truth be told. Campbell Urquhart received the ball around 25 yards out, with a bit of space in front of him he quite rightly took a shot, goal bound it was but it took a humongous deflection off a defender leaving keeper McCathie with no chance whatsoever. In the olden days this would have gone down as an OG I would imagine, but as the initial effort was on target the Luncarty number 7 will most likely be credited with it. The game was even, the guessed decisions were evenly split between the two teams and the game was a good watch but eventually Musselburgh found their foothold in the game again and eventually found a third. A third headed goal too, but the best of the trio. A corner was fired into the box with pace and Jacob Comerford rose well to bullet a an effort into the net. As aesthetically pleasing goal we will see from a corner this season for sure. Quality stuff and game over. But there was a late scare when Luncarty had another effort cleared off the line.
As stated earlier, I cant help but think Musselburgh could have made that easier for themselves if they just stuck at it, not they were ever in danger of anything other than three points. On Brownlands itself, whats not to like? Decent social club, cheap pint, very fine pie, quirks, good vantage point to watch the match on the hill, my train theory being kept alive, and not too far from the ice hockey in Dundee. A winner all round in my eyes. Well worth a visit.
Entrance – Me £7, Wee Man Free
Attendance – 103 (rough head count)
Pie – £6.50, pie x 2 and coffee
Pint – £3.20, Tennent’s, Social Club
Score Predictions – Me 0 v 4, Wee Man 0 v 3
Seasons Score Prediction Totals – Me 2 v 1 Wee Man
FITBAWBAG 