School Park, NRJFA Championship, 31/8/24
Me still 322, Wee Man 187
Whitehills Junior Football Club
Founded – 1999
Nickname – The Hills
Honours – None
Random Fact – The club had averaged 11 goals a game against in the league this season prior to this match
With Wee Man’s latest challenge reaching its dying embers there were only two teams to visit in the North Region Junior grade in our corner. Two seaside “resorts” stood in the way prior to today and the first up was a wee bit west of Banff to the fine wee toon of Whitehills. Prior to this I had only played and watched fitba in the town and had never seen any of the place its self. I liked it. We started with a rake about down around the harbour area then wandered down to the Seafield Arms for a munch. Haddock for me(when in a fishing toon and all that) and scampi for Wee Man and it was bloody fine. This washed down with a Seafield’s own lager while sitting in the sun kissed beer garden. Perfect. On the boozer itself it seemed a decent place and to be noted everyone that saw us said hello as they passed. A really friendly vibe about the place.
We headed to School Park early as I knew there was potential for a decent pre-match kick aboot. This due to me remembering there were mini goals next to the pitch. To be fair to me that was some fine memory as its been a long time since I have set foot at School Park. In fact it has been so long I forgot about the brilliant views of Banff at the far end. To continue on the good points about our visit. The sun was was more than welcome and as I sit here typing I have that tightness in my face that you get after a good blast of the rays. Then there was the pie, a very tasty butchers steak effort with some of the tenderest meat I have ever had in a fitba pie. Top effort. There was also the fridge full of Moray Cup. After seeing the madness for it over the last wee while and my not really that arsedness to bother with it, I managed to jump on the bandwagon as it was easy to do due to it staring me back in the face today. Wee Man was bought a bottle and I had a scoof. This making me realise, I cant even remember what it tasted like back in the day. Is it fine? It was ice cold and the day was roasting so it went down well. Back to the kick about there was a bit of shots at Wee Man then a bit of crossbar challenge which brought on a decent sweat in the beaming sunshine. Highly enjoyable and I could tell that we will be back at some point.
Then to the not so good. The game. Before I start, this is not a dig at Whitehills. I get no pleasure in watching games like this. They are as good as a farce. I knew it was coming but with Jake wanting to head up we did so with me in the know the game would be the worst part of the day due to the pending pummelling. Banchory were third going into it, Whitehills were three defeats, no goals for and 33 against. Interestingly the first ten minutes saw the Hills have an equal to maybe a shade more of the ball. But when the first went in through Harrison Taylor the Whitehills heads were straight down and the quick fire second from Yassine Laksir at the back post it just seemed to feel like how many would it be. Five more followed in the half. These coming via Otto (which looked to be assisted by the goolies of Nicol), Laksir again, Duthie, Taylor and Duthie for a brace. The first from Duthie was a cracker and the only that was not preventable and worth talking about. Laid off by Taylor after the number ten had done well on the right, Duthie stabbed at the ball and with only a small gap to poke the ball through he managed it sending the ball off the bar onto the post then across the goal line of the other post and in. Very much aesthetically pleasing with three woodwork kisses involved but to hit the target and not a body was also impressive. The game on the other hand, nothing like aesthetically pleasing.
HT 0 v 7
A crossbar challenge fifteen minutes was followed by a discussion of how wrong our score predictions would be. Even though mine had not been surpassed I knew it would be wrong come full time. Wee Man was already bust. Then the question of “How many do you think Inter Milan could score against Whitehills?” came. An interesting question for sure. I reckon they would knock more than 40 past both teams on show. A great daft innocence of youth question. (Why Inter though when AC Milan are his Serie A team?) Banchory on the other hand had 4 more in them, which should have been another 7 at least as there was a bit of a shooty in nature appearing where better options were available. The eighth came from Duthie who notched his hattrick. There was a chance for Laksir to grab his treble when Banchory were awarded a penalty. He made and absolute dogs dinner of it. It was feeble and made Hills keeper Curtis West’s job far too easy. I had to laugh at the Banchory guy on the touchline shouting “the keeper was off his line, retake”. One- he wasn’t off his line and two- you are 8 v 0 up min. Oh and three- the penalty was pathetic and didn’t deserve to be retaken. The resulting corner from the pen save led to a Gauld goal. This followed by Laksir finally getting his third* then the scoring was rounded off by Cornu Kelly. Banchory had a few more chances but West had a few solid saves to keep the score down and that was that. I hope Whitehills can rally a bit but I would not bet on it. It’s clearly a hard life being a Hills player this season. A young looking team and I worry that if it continues in this fashion they may not finish the season. Something I would not want to see, but there is only so long people will be committed to it. I did hear a player at one point shout “I canna be fucked playing for this”. Not the best fitba experience we have ever had. A lot of good on the day, but a 90 minutes in amongst it that will be stored in the quickly forgotten files of our brain.
*These two hattricks have taken my trebles viewed tally for this trip home to 5. Not bad in two weeks.
Entrance – £6 me, Wee Man Free
Attendance – 37
Pie – £8, Pie x 2, coffee, Morat Cup
Pint – £3.90, Seafield, Seafield Arms
Score Prediction – Me 0 v 9, Wee Man 0 v 5
Season Score Prediction Totals – Me v Wee Man
FITBAWBAG 